Beloved Bereft…

All too strange. My Love has fled to distant environs. Far removed from our present domicile. Strange. She is simply…not here.

The house seems…vacant. Bereft. My Love is not here. The boys are elsewhere.

I have the house to myself. Along with three cats and Andi, our wonderful puppy.

But still.

Still, my Love is…not here. She has gone to distant lands, with co-workers, overnight.  For a nursing work conference. Not here. My Beloved will not…be here.

What am I to do?!

I knew this prior to 5pm. I knew my youngest step-son would not be home when I arrived. I did not know my 20 year old step-son would not be home as well. No idea where the hell he is.

And now. And now I am alone. With our pets. Far removed from my Beloved.

At 9:30pm I received a call from my 12 year old. “Can you bring my pillow, the gray one, and my toothbrush? And, oh yeah, my pajamas?’

Who the hell doesn’t remember such important personal articles? Oh yeah, a twelve year old boy. A young man, already pre-conditioned to forget anything pertinent. (Unless of course it has to deal with sports. But then again, that is, ultimately, not pertinent at all.)

Duties removed, my 12 year old firmly ensconced in a house, my 20 year old’s whereabouts still indeterminate, my Beloved’s coordinates wholly known and yet, I feel lonely.

‘Where is my Love? Where is she right now? Why am I not rubbing her feet, or pulling her arm, or massaging her back? Where is she?!’

All too strange.

I miss my Love.

Bereft am I.

It remains the constants of our lives that hold the most import; our morning ritual, our breakfast, our first cup of joe, our third or fourth kiss in the morning, for no reason in particular. Our ‘togetherness.’

It is lovely.

And now.

And now, I do not have that. My Love remains distant. Far removed from me.

It remains strange.

Who will I share ice cream with later? Right before bed time?

Where is she?!

There is no one there to rub her forehead, to breathe deep her unique essence, to fall asleep in exquisite calm knowing my Love is near.

But not tonight.

I miss her. My Julie! Terribly.

Sweet dreams, My Love.

I love you. Infinitely…………………….

With endless love,

Your eternal Paramour,

©Paul Harry Grignon – 2014- All Rights Reserved.

 

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2 responses to “Beloved Bereft…

  1. Dear Paul,

    Well, when we get into the habit of having someone close and when that person’s warmth is not there – even if it’s only for a short while, it’s discomforting.

    When in similar situations, I dwell on the sweet reunion – that falling in love all over again with a known unknown – that frenzied first love making. That keeps me going.

    Oh, I also use the time to reflect on all the little things I did or said to annoy – and resolve never ever to repeat. Sometimes, that resolution holds for a week or so – until the rubber band finds its natural curvature – but always with some discernible improvement – some give.

    I’m sure it’ll be a lovely reunion – and meanwhile, have a JD and when I have mine in an hour’s time – I’ll toast you 🙂

    Peace and blessings, my friend,
    Eric

    • My Dear Eric,

      How utterly apropos was your reply. It was, as always, spot on! 🙂
      I certainly appreciated your comment, about the ‘sweet reunion’, when you once again find yourself wrapped in the loving arms of your significant other. (And it was bliss, to have my Beloved open the hotel room, and gently give her a warm kiss and embrace.)

      I did, prior to our engagement with a fine vineyard, toast with a JD. : ) And I thank you for toasting our reunion. It was, indeed, magical and lovely.

      Thank you so much for responding to my meager and happenstance postings. I appreciate your comments immensely! You are a good soul.
      I, however, remain distant with comments about your excellent posts. It’s about time I rectify that.

      Take care, my dear friend, and may your evening (morning?) be met with much comfort and warmth, with lingering kisses from your own Beloved.

      warmest wishes,
      Paul 🙂 🙂

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